So World Cup 2014 is upon us and I have to ask myself why am I even bothered? For nearly 4 years I am completely football averse then in comes the World Cup and here I am hollering at the TV like the football is my own personal fortune and the goal my bank. Why!?! I have 5 theories…
1. The Theory of Subconscious Seduction
I have a strong spirit of adventure and a desire to travel to the destinations represented by the football teams. I have yet to fly myself to some of those countries which leaves me frustrated. The World Cup allows me to express this frustration and my love for these destinations in the form of football fanaticism
Probable? I’ve almost convinced myself with that one.
2. The Theory of Scarcity
It takes nearly four years for me to forget how much I dislike the game. By the time the World Cup comes I get to enjoy it with fresh eyes.
Probable? Unlikely. That would suggest by the end of the World Cup my excitement would have begun to dissipate. Unfortunately, not true.
3. The Theory of Denial
I am actually a hardcore football fan and have been living in denial for nearly four years. The World Cup is the only time I permit myself to enjoy the so-called beautiful game.
Probable? No. I have neither the patience nor the will to live in denial for four years.
4. The Theory of Equinox
I have my own personal Sun that meets with the football stars and the resulting celestial force sends a sparkle of ‘you-shall-love-football’ fairy dust over me that turns on my love of the game.
Probable? I hope not. It’s far too weird.
5. The Theory of World Cup Fever
World Cup fever is a real highly contagious air borne plague. Symptoms last for a month and include hysteria, loss of oral volume control (resulting in shouting loudly and often) and singing awful songs (think every football song ever). I have been struck.
So I guess world cup fever is the most likely. I guess I should be thankful, the next month would be quite unbearable without it.