Loss + Love

mygran

Four weeks ago today my Gran passed away. I’ve been fairly quiet since then but now I feel ready to share again so…

It’s strange for me to even write this post… How do you adequately describe someone who meant so much to you? Is there ever a phrase that does enough to share how you really felt about them?

How can I really capture her softness, her care, her prayers, her voice and especially her blessed hands? From cooking, to gardening, to praying, to simply giving my hand a welcome tap when I would pay a surprise visit to sit with her at her local church. With a touch from those hands she welcomed, loved and blessed.

I cannot express how grateful I am that my Gran introduced our family to such faith and in doing so left us with something that would help us survive a time like this. For that entire first week after she passed away I read nothing but Psalm 34 which holds a passage that has always encouraged me so much:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

In truth, I have been crushed and am still nursing a broken heart by the passing of my Gran but then I think, she also suffered loss but found a way to overcome her grief. She had lost her parents, grandparents, siblings even and yet she lived such a fulfilled life, gave me so many memories to cherish, encouraged us in our faith, lived her life to the fullest… how can I do any less?

So that’s where I am now trying to ensure I get back to living the life I am here to live. Which starts here and now. People say time is a great healer but in this moment, I think love is the better one.

Since she passed away the prayers, condolences and well wishes from friends and family have been abundant and have helped to sustain our family. So, though time may dull the pain of a broken heart, I think love is what brings the pieces back together, heals the fractures and restores it back to life.

A friend of mine has, over the years, lost several members of his family including both parents and a sibling. Even with everything he’s gone through he said to me ‘though grief is different for everyone, get back to living your life asap’. I think that’s good advice,  give time to process your grief properly yes, but don’t hold life at bay.

So this is my next step towards rising above that surreal thing they call grief. To re-embracing the fullness of joy, hope and love. Which brings to mind another favoured text:

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

I hope this encourages someone as much as it encouraged me… x

Amongst many other things, I'm a 30-something contemplative Londoner making the daily commute between contentment and ambition.When not blogging, I'm using my talents for good as communications director at Gingerland and co-founder of Love Harlem.

5 Comments

  • Reply November 18, 2012

    Lebo Diseko via Facebook

    What a beautiful, moving post. Im sure your gran would be so proud xx

  • Thanks Lebo Diseko x x

  • Reply November 18, 2012

    Camara

    It hasn’t been a year yet since I lost my Grandma, she passed a few days after Christmas and now that the holidays are back it’s been very hard for me. This post was just what I needed and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. My Grandma is in great company with your Gran. Thank you.

    • Reply November 18, 2012

      Harlem

      Hi Camara. I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandma but thanks so much for your message. I’m really glad this encouraged you so much, it’s what I hoped would happen from sharing this and to receive your response so soon has been a blessing to me too. I pray you and the family will be greatly comforted at this time.

      H x

  • Reply November 25, 2012

    Serlina Phillips-Boyd

    Thanks so much for sharing. I too lost the most beautiful grandma in the world she was everything to me after a year of mourning her death I decided to do the very things she loved doing, cooking, baking and entertaining friends. You see I found that my Grandma’s legacy is me, anything beautiful that represented her has been passed down to me. We are blessed to have such wonderful legacies…. keep your head up girl X

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